Heartbreaks demand a Funeral
You are heartbroken, devastated and angry, you curse and blame the universe for your misfortunate fate.
But you’ve been through this before with past lovers. You’d like to think that you are better now dealing with heartbreak, that you can take the shortcut to healing with all the experience you’ve had.
So, with the intention of bettering yourself, you surround yourself with your friends, your college, your work, your side projects, you feel you are coping in a healthy way. You exercise, you look in the mirror and see you’ve lost weight, your skin has cleared up. You drink with your friends, you actually do have a great time, you share laughs and even say that you’re okay now upon them asking, they’ll believe it and say that you’ll find someone so much better. You download dating apps to date casually, you think you don’t know how things would unfold, “I’ll just go with the flow”. The thing is deep down you do know. So, you break a couple of hearts, the guilt of it doesn’t last long to be honest and you don’t feel much remorse, since you’re… heartbroken too.
What you found out too late is that you’ve been numbing yourself, you haven’t faced the horrid reality of heartbreak, you’ve never let yourself heal without any distractions. You thought you could cheat your way out of the ugly, easily triggered, lazy days of not showering, staring at the ceiling, the crying, the throwing things around. Whenever you feel a tinge of loneliness, you do anything and everything to avoid it. Heck, you masturbate just so you can sleep, you refuse to have the stillness and sadness of the night catch up to you. Thinking about what was and what could have been seems forbidden, so you bury, bury, bury.
After all the days of focusing on anything but your heartache, it’s enraged at you. You cannot escape heartbreak, it will demand the attention and grieving it deserves… it wants a funeral. It believes that the time and love you gave was too precious to be shrugged off as if it was nothing, as if it’s time being was a waste. Heartbreak demands funerals (it is after all, a death of a dream) and if you don’t give it one, it comes for revenge and later down the line, it comes to haunt you.
But it also rewards those who let it happen. After the death of a dream, there will always be rebirth. It takes forms of new opportunities, plans, wishes, people. You will once again be hopeful of those new dreams… or at least until the next time your heart breaks.
